How else better to start a blog, if not by sharing how I blowed 2k in the name of “self-love”

Howdy gentlemen and ladies

❤

First off, a little heart for those of you

who are feeling a little heart broken

be it for whatever reasons that managed to falter your spirits today

Mine’s definitely driven by a long standing body dysmorphia that I have.. and the fact that I wanted to look good in my wedding dress in 2 weeks.

Yeap.

For starters

I work my posterior side off in the gym at least a good 3 times a week. I can do 1 pull up (IKR), and my deadlift PR’s 40KG+barbell. you do the maths. I’m pretty agile/mobile than your regular (probably) and have been an athlete all my life. 

I have no idea HOW. just HOW. did perfect little girl got her mental destroyed by external criticism of being chubby. of how skinner girls are prettier, get more praised of being prettier (I wanted to be called pretty too)

Then puberty happened and it just went from point A to point B real quick. Here I am, 15 years later- albeit earning my own money, had just spent a luxurious amount of money on body contouring. 

FYI- My InBody analysis shows that I’m in a healthy weight. Healthy BMI. nothing wrong with me. I just have a preference of how I wanna look. I’ve eaten enough salads. Run enough Cardio, yet it’s still not enough for my satisfaction. Such human greed we possess.

Anyways, hear my rant out a little more —

Prior to walking in to the aesthetic centre which was at Orchard Gateaway (Emerald), in a big office called BMF (Bella Marie France), I spent sleepless night reading about different type of body sculpting machine, reading the reviews, comparing images, what technology etc etc

and I opted to have body sculpting using a machine called Venus Legacy (the libra in me chuckled) 

It was suppose to be trial $97 for one section (aesthetic clinic can be really calculative of where they place their machines, little that I know)

“Oh well” I said. I might as well go for it. I’ve seen people’s result. I know what I’m capable of. I know how much determination I can give. I know the numbers. I outweighed proceeding to have more sessions. The mental process that you go through whilst the consultant looks at you. She said she broke me a good deal. I could almost feel her heart. She wanted to help me, knowing I’m getting married. That I came to her centre, knowing what I want.. 

We discussed the price tag a little more.. 

Then I said “yes” like a proposal. A lover swooned by her lover. 

This better freaking work. 

I know the signs…. But do I? 

I saw the results…. But can I?

I’m a libra (excuse my uncertainty, we can’t decide even if it kills us!)

Too late, I’m already making my way to the room for my first session… for 2 sections! Tummy and love handle. These fats be loyal.. I was also driven by my thought process that, I lose more fat, my boobs will be non existent. Yes, my body apparently eats my boob out before anything else. Because why not!

I swear to God this is not an ad. I can’t rant to my fiance, I can’t rant to anyone cause they’d think this is crazy!

“in the name of self love”

I have learnt many expensive lesson in life.. This is by far the first By the power of manifestation, IT SHALL NOT BE ANOTHER EXPENSIVE LESSON.

I shall elaborate more and share pictures of pre and post-

Technically I paid for 16 sessions of Venus Legacy machine with BMF that is segregated into 8 treatments which will be done in a span of 4 days.

Thats all I know. 

Thanks for reading.

yours,

J